The way to be a good parent

Stories about the obvious always perplex me. I'm constantly asking "Did that really deserve a news report?" The latest is a Live Science article about how kids who watch too much television at age 2 will have problems in the classroom, making friends and being bullied when they are 10 years old.

Too much TV on the kids' part represents a parenting problem. Just like eating a well-balanced meal is essential to good health, you need to put the effort into making sure your child receives a good balance of life. That includes spiritual development, reading, socializing, school, exercise and serving others, with a little TV and video games thrown in for extra fun. That creates a well-balanced child (who will grow into a well-balanced adult capable of taking care of himself or herself).

My wife and I let our 2-year-old son watch little less than an hour of TV a day. And it's mostly done so she can finish important stuff around the house without distraction. We spend far more time reading to him, playing outside with him, taking him to church and giving him playtime with his friends (teaching social skills) than we do sticking him in front of a television, so his primary influence comes from us.

When you become a parent, your priorities need to shift. You need to make sure that the needs of your spouse and children are met before you take time for yourself. It's what comes with the blessing of a family. People who think their daily obligations end when they get home from an 8-hour workday are the ones who will end up with bad marriages and obese, undisciplined kids.

Do right by your family. Look out for them first instead of having cartoons do it for you.

The void

A strange thing happened as I read the story of Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson.

Just a quick catch-up. Early this week, Ortiz was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence against his girlfriend (whom he lives with), the ex-porn star. Ortiz claims he never hit Jameson and said she is addicted to the pain medication Oxycontin.

I didn't stop to think about whether Ortiz is guilty, or if they will stay together, or any of that crap that's none of my business. Instead, I thought about the drug addiction, and what it means for Jenna.

People turn to drugs to fill a void in their life. It may be a feeling of non-acceptance, or lack of love, or wishing you were someone or something else. JJ hasn't lived the cleanest life, but none of us have. And now that she's considered old in her line of work (along with other demons she faced growing up), the pain could be catching up with her.

If it were 10 years ago, I'd have coldly written her off as a well-paid prostitute. But now I realize that she's still a child of God. That's not an excuse for her lifestyle choice in any way (again, I ain't exactly first prize), but it's a reason to pray that she heals rather than give a quick "as ye sow, so shall ye reap" judgment.

Some of my favorite movie scenes

It could be a good script or a gunshot, but here are some scenes from my favorite movies that impress me with their slickness, style and confidence. BTW, just cope and paste the links if you want to see them. I can't figure out why embedding isn't working for me right now.

Doc Holliday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDK3ts1JimQ&feature=related

Val Kilmer gives the best performance I've ever seen in this movie (I'd like him more in real life if he wasn't a jerk). He brings a charisma to Doc Holliday that just makes your jaw drop. His expressions would make a frowning stick figure smile (I'm your huckleberry is my personal fave) and his quick, cold efficiency in capping Johnny Ringo leaves no doubt that you'd rather flick a cigarette in the Incredible Hulk's face than hear Doc yell "Say When" within 50 yards of you.



Collateral

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zJlsc8GU50&feature=related

Part of what I love about movies is when they don't have to resort to confusing editing, special effects or any of that other crap to show you something impressive. Here, Tom Cruise (Vincent) has his briefcase swiped out of Jamie Foxx's cab, and Cruise confronts the two thugs about it. At this point, the director could have done some direct-to-video-quality camera cuts and ended with both muggers on the ground, leaving the viewer to think Vincent busted some spectacular move on them. Instead, he finishes two thugs in not that many seconds while we watch in astonished silence.


Ocean's 11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mWymlaejbs&feature=related

I'm a writer. Writers are suckers for good writing. A well-penned script sounds like a natural conversation, but has just enough funny and clever expressions thrown in to keep the talk from sounding mundane. This was a great scene from Ocean's 11 where Matt Damon and Brad Pitt are discussing the dangers of heisting ruthless casino mogul Andy Garcia. You could just hear "this is crazy" or "you're going to get us all killed" or "this is crazy, you're going to get us all killed", but thankfully, the script office didn't phone this one in. Who loves 'em, baby? I do.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH3mLKIXOe4&feature=related

This clip is shorter, but funny as well. Wish I could think of smart-aleck remarks this fast.

The wrong ministry

Few times in my life have I said that I'm truly disappointed and ashamed in someone. But that's the case with the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.

You may have heard of them ... they're the ones who protest at the funerals of soldiers, spouting off about how God is happy that these soldiers are dead because it's His punishment for our country's tolerance of homosexuals.

Hate the sin but love the sinner. We all have our own sins and imperfects, but it doesn't mean that God loves us any less. Sometimes I'm so mad at myself that I can't look in the mirror. When that happens, I'm holding one of God's children in contempt; looking at him as a lower form of life. God hates that behavior, but He loves me. The message that this "church" conveys of God high-fiving the angels when a solider falls is absolutely wrong, and not reflective of God's loving relationship with us. For that, I'm ashamed of them.

Just as bad, this church will look at anyone who opposes them as "oppressors". I say this not to oppress, but to inform. God loves all his children equally and beyond what we can measure. That doesn't mean we are never rebuked or that bad things can't happen, it means that God sticks with us through the junk and wishes us no harm. I pray that this church learns about the true forgiveness of God, and in time, I'll forgive them for trying to pollute the pure word.

Weed wack

I almost couldn't be-leaf this one. That statement should tell you that I'm not too high on the idea of California preparing to vote (in November) to become the first state in the Union to legalize pot for recreational use by adults.

Some hippies and potheads would tell you that the state has drug its feet along on this long enough. Heck, those groups probably made a joint effort to campaign for this legislation. I don't agree with it, personally. We need to weed out anyone who supports it, because too many people are going to suffer if it happens. I was going to wait until 4:20 to post this, but as it turns out, the sooner the better.

Lesson to all. Just say no.

Crime fighting India chili

I got a kick out of this. India's military is now employing a legendarily hot chili to make tear-gas grenades for use in subduing suspects. The chili grows in the northeast part of the country and is scientifically measured as up to 400 times hotter than Tabasco sauce (the measurement of a chili's spiciness is called a Scoville unit - look it up).

Now, I can barely smell Tabasco sauce without tearing up, so I can't imagine being swallowed up by THIS stuff. It's the only substance known to man that'll clear your sinuses and your bowels at the same time.

I wonder what other foods and beverages we can use in the fight against evil. Police cars can deploy a few quarts of bacon grease to cause fugitives to slide off the road and into a ditch. That would be more fun to watch than those boring spike strips. Drop some Fizzies into a crystal meth lab and enjoy the fireworks. Slip some Jolt Cola into the rations of bothersome survivalists, wait 37 hours or so and then take them out peacefully when the 4 o'clock sugar crash hits.

Think of the possibilities. What are some others that I left out?

How dare you help Dad?!

Face it, dads. We can't win.

A new report out by LiveScience suggests that fathers who help out at home and try to aid the supermom (who works outside the home in addition to being a mother) could be hurting mom's self-esteem. Cue cheesy soap opera organ music!

I could offer an elaborate explanation of my opinion, but I'll keep it short. I'm pissed. So many women would love their husbands to help out more at home, and husbands should. If for nothing else, to show the moms that they love them and want to make things easier. But putting guys into this lose-lose scenario (either you help and you hurt mom's ego or you don't help and look like a jerk) is ridiculous and cruel. Guys, when you help out, you're a hero. Science can kiss your butt.

Infomercials and Idiots

We've all seen the late-night infomercials offering weird and obscure products that no self-respecting person should be without, like the Snuggie, the Ab Circle and the Shark Navigator Vacuum Cleaner. More often than not these items end up being coat racks that no self-respecting person should be without, but I digress. Part of me wants to get some friends together and see if we could recreate one of these commercials, complete with bad acting, cheesy voiceovers and, of course, screwy gadgets that you will use about as often as a steel-wool shower backbrush.

I have so many questions regarding these TV spots. Who directs them? Who develops the products that appear in them? How big is the market for said products? How much does it cost to make them and what profit do you clear? If I knew more about that, I might make a go of it myself.

I once had an invention idea for keeping your sheets locked down at night so your spouse couldn't steal the covers. Had the prototype up and everything. Then my dreams were crushed by someone close to me. I haven't been the same since. However, after seeing some of these commercials, I should probably give that person a handshake and hug.

Biting off too much

I need to do better about realizing my limits.

So, I'm running the half marathon this year. That' right; 13.1 miles is waiting for me on April 24, and I'd love to finish in less than 2 hours. I'm training four days a week. But there's more.

I'm also participating in the Dale Carnegie course, which teaches you leadership and public speaking skills. That takes until 9:30 Tuesday nights for the past (and next) 6 weeks. But there's more.

I've been trying to read more books about leadership in 2010. I want to develop more in that capacity, even though there is seemingly no reason on the horizon. But there's more.

My wife and I are leaders in one of those engaged couple's weekend retreats in August, and we meet regularly with the other couples at our church for that. But there's more.

I also get some freelance proofreading assignments sent to me by a local travel magazine. It's something I try to do when I can for a little walking-around money. But there's more.

I'm a weird guy; one of those yahoos who likes to get home from work and spend time with his wife and son. While this priority is last on this list, it's first in my life. I've been arranging everything around it.

I've over-committed myself, and there has been many a night when I've gotten home wondering why I do it, and what can I learn. So what have I learned? My own limits.

I can't say there's one thing to cut out that will make my life more manageable. But I have learned to sense when I'm getting burned out and then ask 'How did you let yourself get into this? Who or what could you have simply said "no" to that would have made this better?'

Being able to say no lightens your load. Noting how tired you get serves as a great reminder to recognize your own limits and not overextend yourself in an attempt to satisfy everyone. Try to be everything to everybody and you end up being nothing for nobody. Learn your limits and have your happiness.

Spreading the love (well, not really)

In an ode to my brothers and sisters in Christ, I pull from Matthew 5:11-12. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

My wife was shocked at this and emailed the link to me. Seems a Baptist preacher at the Connor Heights Baptist Church (don't worry, I'm not calling out the entire Baptist denomination, just this guy in particular) in Pigeon Forge, TN is distributing pamphlets to anyone who will take them claiming that the Roman Catholic Church is not Christian, and communion comes from the devil.

That church's preacher, Jonathan Hatcher, according to the news report, says the pamphlets are meant to help spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Can you feel the love?

I've been to some Catholic services in my time, and can honestly say there is no shortage of praising God and Jesus. It is because of my faith in their boundless love and mercy that I make this statement of fact. Catholics are indeed Christian, and God condemns none of us and loves all people equally. How could He not ... we are His children. But even that is not what puzzles me.

It just seems to me that if you want to bring people closer to God, to teach them to love Jesus, to become a more faithful follower ... you wouldn't use fear as a motivator. The peace and love of Christ is enough to soften even the hardest of human hearts, so spreading that message should be the point of any ministry, not dogging your Christian neighbors. You shouldn't have to proclaim that the fires of hell are bad. Any dickweed knows that.

God wants to have a personal relationship with you. He cares about YOU. As does Jesus, and He really is the way, the truth and the life. They have good things in store for you, so don't shy away from them. That's my testimony. If you'd like to learn more, check out a church where you can grow closer to them. They are around every corner ... except one in Pigeon Forge.

The most arrogant aspect of John Edwards

He's been out of the news for a couple of weeks, and that's fine by me. But at breakfast this morning I thought about John Edwards, and an incredible urge to string him up from the goalpost by his mini-sized jock strap came over me. There are plenty of reasons, but one really stands out. Not the cheating, not the cheating on the wife with cancer, not the lying about it or being a horrible example to his kids (each of which would require a lot more than a string-up as punishment).

I watched the Dateline episode a few weeks ago (or whatever news program it was) where they profiled his ex-aide, Andrew Young. In a taped phone conversation where Edwards was trying to convince Young to claim paternity over the Edwards/Rielle Hunter child, Edwards was quoted as telling Young "The fate of the free world is in your hands."

Gimme a W! Gimme a T! Gimme an F! Whatcha got? EDWARDS!

This guy wasn't president. He wasn't vice president. He wasn't even his party's nominee to BE president! Yet he has the arrogance (even if the expression was made out of fear of being exposed) to tell his aide that the world is going to take a nose dive to hell if Young doesn't cover JE's backside.

I hope the ensuing crapstorm for Edwards humbles him enough to start thinking about others. Umbrellas out!

Great lesson learned

I heard a very profound piece of ministry yesterday. And it was AFTER I got out of devotional.

It's hard to forgive yourself sometimes. You are the one who must live with the emotional consequences of your actions, even if it was someone one else who was hurt by them. But after speaking with a friend of mine about that subject, I have a new perspective.

She told me of Jesus' words in John 20:23. "If you forgive people's sins, they are forgiven. If you retain people's sins, they are retained." I was too thick to fully understand what that meant, so she broke it down for me. I am a person. I'm in that group that God says to forgive, and if I don't forgive myself, that irritates Him.

If you're in the backyard with God throwing the football, and you drop a pass from Him, you have to get over that so you can get back to enjoying your time with God. He'll wait for you to quit kicking yourself, but get over the dropped pass. The only one more eager than you to do that is the Man Himself!

Valentine's Day

Something about Valentine's Day has puzzled me since I was old enough to know what the flip it was.

Sure, I get that prices are jacked up beyond belief (a rose on Feb. 14 costs as much as a bouquet of them did 4 weeks earlier). There's that whole stereotypical thing of how your girlfriend/wife says not to get her anything, then she gives you the cold shoulder for not getting her anything. But that's not what puzzles me.

My question is: When it's a well-known fact that the lines at most restaurants will be a mile long, why does everyone still insist on going out to dinner? If you went to eat out at 5:30 and were told the wait is 2 hours (and that's WITH a reservation and a $20 tip to the host), would you still go out? Of course not!

I say have a night in. Buy some groceries and spend the evening with your other half cooking your favorite dinner. That, in and of itself, is a bonding experience. And it's a heckuva lot easier than standing around waiting for someone to yell your name to say that the table's ready.

The key to running on a treadmill

Two words ... audio books.

I know, lots of people hate the treadmill because it's boring and offers no change of scenery. If you're lucky enough to have a YMCA membership, you have the option of changing the channel, what with those televisions mounted on the front.

But if you've got your own treadmill and it's collecting dust as quickly as you're collecting pounds, try this and kill two birds with one stone. Just about everyone has a stereo that plays CDs, right? Go to Sam's Club or Costco (or even buy used at Amazon) and get a couple of audio books cheap. Stick the stereo next to your stationary running trail, fire up that bad boy and listen to your favorite book as you run away the pounds. It's like reading for your ears!

I'm running the Music City Half Marathon and I hope to finish in under 2 hours. If I have a shot, it's because I stay on the treadmill. Names like Grisham and Crichton will keep me there. Try it yourself!