Parenthood is humbling, as I'm sure many people before me have already learned. You go through more emotional, physical, mental and spiritual trials as a parent than any other endeavor on Earth.
In the short (but seemingly loooooong) 4 weeks of our son's life, I have learned a few things. There was, however, only so much room in my brain, so I had to kick sanity out. In the meantime, here are the top 7 things I've learned from being a father.
7. Fatherhood is the only time where a 3-week-old baby can make you beg for mercy and you're not embarrassed to say so to your friends.
6. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a crap-filled diaper.
5. One look in my son's eyes will make me feel weightless for the rest of the day.
4. I can't figure out which is more beautiful ... my wife or our son.
3. I can't figure out which I'd rather do ... sleep or zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
2. Be careful about picking the correct bottle of milk out of the fridge.
1. I will never, never, never, never go back. Never.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day
I kissed my wife and laid my son down to sleep today, and on TV the local news was a feature about what Memorial Day means to different people. As I look over all the blessings to happen in my life in the last 5 years (and longer), I keep coming back to the fact that men and women who never knew I existed chose to put themselves in danger and pay the ultimate price so that we could live in a free country and that I could enjoy what God has given me. When you are given to, the best thing to do is give back.
Top 5 things you can do to honor those who have fought for you
5. Thank a veteran, or the grieving family of someone killed in action. Remind them that their loved one is with God, and offer to help them any way you can.
4. I do this one, and it's a personal favorite. I buy prepaid phone cards from Operation Uplink to send to troops overseas. You'll never see the smile on a soldier's face when he or she gets to talk to their spouse and kids, but you still did your part to put it there.
3. Vote. Just like the old commercial said ... give a damn. Sure, the system might be filled with dipsticks who are more interested in the money and interns than how a bill becomes a law. But we're talking about the country here. If it's good enough for people to be drafted, be separated from their families, fight in jungles, deserts and blizzards, be held captive and watch harm come to their friends (and it is), then support it. VOTE.
2. Teach your kids the Pledge of Allegiance. Include UNDER GOD.
1. Contribute to something greater than yourself - every time you volunteer at some charity, or give money to support something, or say a prayer for the safe return of our troops, you are helping to maintain the cause and concept of what those soldiers died for. They deserve that ... and even though they'll never see it, perhaps it matters the most.
Top 5 things you can do to honor those who have fought for you
5. Thank a veteran, or the grieving family of someone killed in action. Remind them that their loved one is with God, and offer to help them any way you can.
4. I do this one, and it's a personal favorite. I buy prepaid phone cards from Operation Uplink to send to troops overseas. You'll never see the smile on a soldier's face when he or she gets to talk to their spouse and kids, but you still did your part to put it there.
3. Vote. Just like the old commercial said ... give a damn. Sure, the system might be filled with dipsticks who are more interested in the money and interns than how a bill becomes a law. But we're talking about the country here. If it's good enough for people to be drafted, be separated from their families, fight in jungles, deserts and blizzards, be held captive and watch harm come to their friends (and it is), then support it. VOTE.
2. Teach your kids the Pledge of Allegiance. Include UNDER GOD.
1. Contribute to something greater than yourself - every time you volunteer at some charity, or give money to support something, or say a prayer for the safe return of our troops, you are helping to maintain the cause and concept of what those soldiers died for. They deserve that ... and even though they'll never see it, perhaps it matters the most.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Reasons why The Office is the funniest show on TV
I have yet to watch an episode of The Office in which I didn't laugh out loud at some point. Simply put, the show is brilliantly written, wonderfully acted and has perfectly-timed comedic material. The guys in my cubicle and I ritualistically recite all the funniest lines on Friday morning when we get to work, and many of the lines become inside jokes between all of us.
But what makes the show funny? Glad you asked.
Lack of a laugh track - the atmosphere of The Office makes it funny because it's real. There are uncomfortable, awkward pauses when someone makes a stupid joke or inappropriate remark, just like real life. It adds realism to the show that laugh tracks just don't. You feel like you're there, like you're a part of it.
Practical jokes - this is mostly Jim on Dwight stuff, but it works every time. How could you not laugh at the absurdity of trying to make someone think it's Friday when it's Thursday, yet hang on to the end of the episode to see if the obnoxious co-worker buys into it and runs screaming to his desk the next day, yelling that his perfect work attendance record still stands?
Cluelessness - whether he's burning his foot on a Foreman Grill and bubble-wrapping it or pretending to be suicidal in order to prove that it's dangerous to work in an office (remember, computers might explode!), Michael Scott creates more awkwardness than a groom fainting at his wedding. Perhaps the funniest lines are the ones that the characters mean one way, but we know better. Michael boldly swears that, as an office manager who wants to make the workplace fun, it's his responsibility for people to "laugh as they see me coming, and applaud as I walk away". Indeed they do.
Talking heads - the interview segments are where the performers really get to let their individual talents shine. They connect with you, so when Kevin slyly smirks after revealing to the audience that he got himself for Secret Santa but didn't tell anyone, it's almost like actor Brian Baumgartner is breaking the fourth wall and letting you in on the joke.
Relatability - You want to see how situations from The Office are reflected in your own workplace. You'll look for ways to play a practical joke on your co-workers based on last night's episode. There is a Michael, a Jim, a Dwight, a Phyllis, a Kevin and more in every office. That links you with every other fan you work with.
But what makes the show funny? Glad you asked.
Lack of a laugh track - the atmosphere of The Office makes it funny because it's real. There are uncomfortable, awkward pauses when someone makes a stupid joke or inappropriate remark, just like real life. It adds realism to the show that laugh tracks just don't. You feel like you're there, like you're a part of it.
Practical jokes - this is mostly Jim on Dwight stuff, but it works every time. How could you not laugh at the absurdity of trying to make someone think it's Friday when it's Thursday, yet hang on to the end of the episode to see if the obnoxious co-worker buys into it and runs screaming to his desk the next day, yelling that his perfect work attendance record still stands?
Cluelessness - whether he's burning his foot on a Foreman Grill and bubble-wrapping it or pretending to be suicidal in order to prove that it's dangerous to work in an office (remember, computers might explode!), Michael Scott creates more awkwardness than a groom fainting at his wedding. Perhaps the funniest lines are the ones that the characters mean one way, but we know better. Michael boldly swears that, as an office manager who wants to make the workplace fun, it's his responsibility for people to "laugh as they see me coming, and applaud as I walk away". Indeed they do.
Talking heads - the interview segments are where the performers really get to let their individual talents shine. They connect with you, so when Kevin slyly smirks after revealing to the audience that he got himself for Secret Santa but didn't tell anyone, it's almost like actor Brian Baumgartner is breaking the fourth wall and letting you in on the joke.
Relatability - You want to see how situations from The Office are reflected in your own workplace. You'll look for ways to play a practical joke on your co-workers based on last night's episode. There is a Michael, a Jim, a Dwight, a Phyllis, a Kevin and more in every office. That links you with every other fan you work with.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Top 6 reasons that cash is better than credit
One of the things I love about life is my job. I work for Dave Ramsey ... you might know him as the "get out of debt" guy. He has a nationally-syndicated radio show across North America (The Dave Ramsey Show), 3 New York Times best sellers (Financial Peace, More Than Enough and The Total Money Makeover), and hosts a show on the Fox Business Channel.
The work environment is great and we do work that MATTERS. We help people learn how to manage their money correctly, pay off debt and learn how to invest, give and spend (yes, they do get to have fun wit money they've earned). Dave hates all forms of debt, and is correct in saying that saying away from credit cards and living on less than you make (using cash, obviously) will make you wealthy.
His system works ... check him out here! Or subscribe to his website here and get all sorts of awesome budgeting tools and encouraging people to help you out.
So, in that spirit, my next list is the Top 6 reasons why using cash is better than credit.
6. It's better to have a $100,000 balance in the bank than a $100,000 balance on a MasterCard.
5. Have you ever needed your ID to use cash?
4. You can put cash into a microwave for 20 seconds and it will still be useful afterwards.
3. When you screw up and forget to make reservations for Valentine's Day dinner, you won't get anywhere by slipping the maitre d' a Visa.
2. Cash charges 0% interest. Tony Soprano charges 20%. Discover charges 29% ... if you're lucky.
And the number one reason cash is better than credit
1. You only need 100 to be doing well with cash. With credit, a 350 score sucks.
One more thing. Money and stress go hand in hand. Not enough of one means too much of the other. So if you're stressed out, check Dave out, and check out my buddy Angela's ways to shun stress.
The work environment is great and we do work that MATTERS. We help people learn how to manage their money correctly, pay off debt and learn how to invest, give and spend (yes, they do get to have fun wit money they've earned). Dave hates all forms of debt, and is correct in saying that saying away from credit cards and living on less than you make (using cash, obviously) will make you wealthy.
His system works ... check him out here! Or subscribe to his website here and get all sorts of awesome budgeting tools and encouraging people to help you out.
So, in that spirit, my next list is the Top 6 reasons why using cash is better than credit.
6. It's better to have a $100,000 balance in the bank than a $100,000 balance on a MasterCard.
5. Have you ever needed your ID to use cash?
4. You can put cash into a microwave for 20 seconds and it will still be useful afterwards.
3. When you screw up and forget to make reservations for Valentine's Day dinner, you won't get anywhere by slipping the maitre d' a Visa.
2. Cash charges 0% interest. Tony Soprano charges 20%. Discover charges 29% ... if you're lucky.
And the number one reason cash is better than credit
1. You only need 100 to be doing well with cash. With credit, a 350 score sucks.
One more thing. Money and stress go hand in hand. Not enough of one means too much of the other. So if you're stressed out, check Dave out, and check out my buddy Angela's ways to shun stress.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Top 9 rejected college football names for our next child
I love college football, and I tried to think of the best names related to the sport to give our next child when he/she comes along. Such a task, however, is easier said than done. I hope David Letterman would be proud here.
9. Doak Campbell Russell - looks tough on the outside, but pretty soft inside
8. Lloyd Carr Russell - should never play with batteries; even one double A will shock him
7. Philip Fulmer Russell - doesn't travel well; gets the crap beaten out of him if he goes to California, Florida or Alabama
6. Nick Saban Russell - would be mistaken as the second coming of Jesus ... until you see his win-loss record
5. Tim Tebow Russell - other kids don't like playing with his toys. They've got Dora the Explorer and Spider Man; he's got this heavy little bronze dude.
4. Darren McFadden Russell - angry off because someone stole his heavy little bronze dude. Still looking for it.
3. Peyton Manning Russell - Insert "heavy little bronze dude" joke here. I dare you.
2. Bobby Bowden Russell - Can hang around you for as long as he wants, not really do do anything; but dadgum it ... you love him!
Number 1
BCS Russell - though leaving out the "C" might describe him better
9. Doak Campbell Russell - looks tough on the outside, but pretty soft inside
8. Lloyd Carr Russell - should never play with batteries; even one double A will shock him
7. Philip Fulmer Russell - doesn't travel well; gets the crap beaten out of him if he goes to California, Florida or Alabama
6. Nick Saban Russell - would be mistaken as the second coming of Jesus ... until you see his win-loss record
5. Tim Tebow Russell - other kids don't like playing with his toys. They've got Dora the Explorer and Spider Man; he's got this heavy little bronze dude.
4. Darren McFadden Russell - angry off because someone stole his heavy little bronze dude. Still looking for it.
3. Peyton Manning Russell - Insert "heavy little bronze dude" joke here. I dare you.
2. Bobby Bowden Russell - Can hang around you for as long as he wants, not really do do anything; but dadgum it ... you love him!
Number 1
BCS Russell - though leaving out the "C" might describe him better
Monday, May 19, 2008
Top 5 list about me
OK, so here's the deal. I like to be creative and snappy with my humor. I love puns and jokes. This blog will do all the usual ... comments on current events and people, revelations of life lessons that I learn from my wife and son, the whole deal. But I want to add a twist.
When I blog about something, I'll make sure to put in a list of why a topic interests me (hence the name - crazylist). Think of how Letterman comes up with different Top 10 lists every night. They will be funny (I hope), teach a lesson here and there, and hopefully inspire someone. I like knowing that I'm doing my part to make the world a better place, and if I can do that through helping someone understand, or even laugh for a minute, then all is right in the jungle.
So I'll be light the first time. My first Top 5 list is fun facts about me. Feel free to leave your own!
1. I've shaken hands with the mayor of Nashville, the governor of Tennessee and the President of the United States (Bush 41).
2. I've had 5 collapsed lungs (all on the right side).
3. I have a brother born on September 11 and a wife born on December 7.
4. I played football in high school, but was only in for 1 play (I was on the defensive line and the opposing QB threw an interception, so we went back to offense).
5. I'm a big movie fan, but have only seen 2 summer blockbusters on opening weekend in my life (Hulk in 2003 and Spider-Man 2 in 2004).
When I blog about something, I'll make sure to put in a list of why a topic interests me (hence the name - crazylist). Think of how Letterman comes up with different Top 10 lists every night. They will be funny (I hope), teach a lesson here and there, and hopefully inspire someone. I like knowing that I'm doing my part to make the world a better place, and if I can do that through helping someone understand, or even laugh for a minute, then all is right in the jungle.
So I'll be light the first time. My first Top 5 list is fun facts about me. Feel free to leave your own!
1. I've shaken hands with the mayor of Nashville, the governor of Tennessee and the President of the United States (Bush 41).
2. I've had 5 collapsed lungs (all on the right side).
3. I have a brother born on September 11 and a wife born on December 7.
4. I played football in high school, but was only in for 1 play (I was on the defensive line and the opposing QB threw an interception, so we went back to offense).
5. I'm a big movie fan, but have only seen 2 summer blockbusters on opening weekend in my life (Hulk in 2003 and Spider-Man 2 in 2004).
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