Weed wack

I almost couldn't be-leaf this one. That statement should tell you that I'm not too high on the idea of California preparing to vote (in November) to become the first state in the Union to legalize pot for recreational use by adults.

Some hippies and potheads would tell you that the state has drug its feet along on this long enough. Heck, those groups probably made a joint effort to campaign for this legislation. I don't agree with it, personally. We need to weed out anyone who supports it, because too many people are going to suffer if it happens. I was going to wait until 4:20 to post this, but as it turns out, the sooner the better.

Lesson to all. Just say no.

Crime fighting India chili

I got a kick out of this. India's military is now employing a legendarily hot chili to make tear-gas grenades for use in subduing suspects. The chili grows in the northeast part of the country and is scientifically measured as up to 400 times hotter than Tabasco sauce (the measurement of a chili's spiciness is called a Scoville unit - look it up).

Now, I can barely smell Tabasco sauce without tearing up, so I can't imagine being swallowed up by THIS stuff. It's the only substance known to man that'll clear your sinuses and your bowels at the same time.

I wonder what other foods and beverages we can use in the fight against evil. Police cars can deploy a few quarts of bacon grease to cause fugitives to slide off the road and into a ditch. That would be more fun to watch than those boring spike strips. Drop some Fizzies into a crystal meth lab and enjoy the fireworks. Slip some Jolt Cola into the rations of bothersome survivalists, wait 37 hours or so and then take them out peacefully when the 4 o'clock sugar crash hits.

Think of the possibilities. What are some others that I left out?

How dare you help Dad?!

Face it, dads. We can't win.

A new report out by LiveScience suggests that fathers who help out at home and try to aid the supermom (who works outside the home in addition to being a mother) could be hurting mom's self-esteem. Cue cheesy soap opera organ music!

I could offer an elaborate explanation of my opinion, but I'll keep it short. I'm pissed. So many women would love their husbands to help out more at home, and husbands should. If for nothing else, to show the moms that they love them and want to make things easier. But putting guys into this lose-lose scenario (either you help and you hurt mom's ego or you don't help and look like a jerk) is ridiculous and cruel. Guys, when you help out, you're a hero. Science can kiss your butt.

Infomercials and Idiots

We've all seen the late-night infomercials offering weird and obscure products that no self-respecting person should be without, like the Snuggie, the Ab Circle and the Shark Navigator Vacuum Cleaner. More often than not these items end up being coat racks that no self-respecting person should be without, but I digress. Part of me wants to get some friends together and see if we could recreate one of these commercials, complete with bad acting, cheesy voiceovers and, of course, screwy gadgets that you will use about as often as a steel-wool shower backbrush.

I have so many questions regarding these TV spots. Who directs them? Who develops the products that appear in them? How big is the market for said products? How much does it cost to make them and what profit do you clear? If I knew more about that, I might make a go of it myself.

I once had an invention idea for keeping your sheets locked down at night so your spouse couldn't steal the covers. Had the prototype up and everything. Then my dreams were crushed by someone close to me. I haven't been the same since. However, after seeing some of these commercials, I should probably give that person a handshake and hug.

Biting off too much

I need to do better about realizing my limits.

So, I'm running the half marathon this year. That' right; 13.1 miles is waiting for me on April 24, and I'd love to finish in less than 2 hours. I'm training four days a week. But there's more.

I'm also participating in the Dale Carnegie course, which teaches you leadership and public speaking skills. That takes until 9:30 Tuesday nights for the past (and next) 6 weeks. But there's more.

I've been trying to read more books about leadership in 2010. I want to develop more in that capacity, even though there is seemingly no reason on the horizon. But there's more.

My wife and I are leaders in one of those engaged couple's weekend retreats in August, and we meet regularly with the other couples at our church for that. But there's more.

I also get some freelance proofreading assignments sent to me by a local travel magazine. It's something I try to do when I can for a little walking-around money. But there's more.

I'm a weird guy; one of those yahoos who likes to get home from work and spend time with his wife and son. While this priority is last on this list, it's first in my life. I've been arranging everything around it.

I've over-committed myself, and there has been many a night when I've gotten home wondering why I do it, and what can I learn. So what have I learned? My own limits.

I can't say there's one thing to cut out that will make my life more manageable. But I have learned to sense when I'm getting burned out and then ask 'How did you let yourself get into this? Who or what could you have simply said "no" to that would have made this better?'

Being able to say no lightens your load. Noting how tired you get serves as a great reminder to recognize your own limits and not overextend yourself in an attempt to satisfy everyone. Try to be everything to everybody and you end up being nothing for nobody. Learn your limits and have your happiness.

Spreading the love (well, not really)

In an ode to my brothers and sisters in Christ, I pull from Matthew 5:11-12. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

My wife was shocked at this and emailed the link to me. Seems a Baptist preacher at the Connor Heights Baptist Church (don't worry, I'm not calling out the entire Baptist denomination, just this guy in particular) in Pigeon Forge, TN is distributing pamphlets to anyone who will take them claiming that the Roman Catholic Church is not Christian, and communion comes from the devil.

That church's preacher, Jonathan Hatcher, according to the news report, says the pamphlets are meant to help spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Can you feel the love?

I've been to some Catholic services in my time, and can honestly say there is no shortage of praising God and Jesus. It is because of my faith in their boundless love and mercy that I make this statement of fact. Catholics are indeed Christian, and God condemns none of us and loves all people equally. How could He not ... we are His children. But even that is not what puzzles me.

It just seems to me that if you want to bring people closer to God, to teach them to love Jesus, to become a more faithful follower ... you wouldn't use fear as a motivator. The peace and love of Christ is enough to soften even the hardest of human hearts, so spreading that message should be the point of any ministry, not dogging your Christian neighbors. You shouldn't have to proclaim that the fires of hell are bad. Any dickweed knows that.

God wants to have a personal relationship with you. He cares about YOU. As does Jesus, and He really is the way, the truth and the life. They have good things in store for you, so don't shy away from them. That's my testimony. If you'd like to learn more, check out a church where you can grow closer to them. They are around every corner ... except one in Pigeon Forge.